in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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