ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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