I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am one with the molecules
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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