I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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