i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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