cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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