Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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