I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?