The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.