we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
two words...techno handjob
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
