We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize
