Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
