I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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