you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
