Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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