they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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