Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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