my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
