Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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