I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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