Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She tied me up with her honor cords...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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