I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
