The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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