If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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