Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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