why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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