my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
