So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
