Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Did I show you my penis last night?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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