I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
