Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
