True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we still banned from the library?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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