Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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