yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
