I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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