I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
