matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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