isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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