Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
where are my eyebrows?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
