The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
