It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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