i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
