would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
