508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
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Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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