So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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