I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
