This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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