I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't deserve a penis
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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