My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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