So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
