I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
