When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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