roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
