As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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