i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
