ugly people sure do ruin things
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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