Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
