There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So many bounce houses so little time
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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