She announced her abortion via fbk
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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