Where is the hickey?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
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Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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