So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
