brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
